The Men Commandments of Housekeeping
August 11, 2010, By Tom McNulty
“Cleaning like a man” is analogous to “throwing like a girl.” It simply goes against the natural order of things as we know them. But even if you’re a guy, cleaning your home is a task for which you should be prepared, as any ex-Boy Scout would tell you. The whole planet is one big ball of soil, after all. Dirt happens.
Why clean? Lots of reasons.
- You don’t want to pay $125 for a housecleaning service every few weeks.
- You’re entertaining a stunning woman at your place for the first time and you don’t want her to be shocked at your lifestyle.
- You just want to score some P.R. points with your current spouse (women definitely love their surroundings to be clean and orderly) because you may want to golf at some point in the near future.
- You, personally, like it when your house is clean.
So this column is Housekeeping 101 for guys – a crash course for all of you who’ve never sewed on a button, dusted the top of the fridge or cooked anything much more complex than chips and dip.
Let’s call it “The Men Commandments” – housecleaning basics made guy-friendly.
- Get started. A big job can intimidate us into paralysis. So just choose ONE room to work on and start with the task that will improve it the most. Examples: Completely clearing the kitchen counters. Making your bed. Eliminating clutter in the living room. All deliver a big visual impact.
- Pick up the place first. Shoes and socks, pizza cartons, half-read Tolstoy novels lying about...all this clutter just slows you down. Toss everything into a big box, a closet, or even another room and you’re ready for some serious – and fast – cleaning.
- Say no to knick-knacks. When dusting, a tabletop filled with junk (AKA, “collectibles”) ruins your momentum: you have to stop, pick every item up, dust it, and replace it. So get this stuff out of your life. (Only exception: your sports memorabilia).
- Carry your supplies with you. Tote your essentials – sprays, sponges, rags, etc. – in a bucket, tool belt, cardboard box…whatever works for you. Have all tools at hand so you never have to stop and go look for something.
- Deploy supplies where you use them. Stash appropriate tools and cleaners in strategic locations to allow instant access: mostly under bathroom and kitchen sinks.
- Start high, finish low. Gravity: it’s the law! Clean from ceiling to floor because dust and dirt float earthward.
- Get the right stuff. Brand-name products are famous for a reason – they work best. Using them will make housework faster, easier and less aggravating.
- Spritz, don’t splash. Forget heavy, sloshing buckets of dirty water. Put as many cleaning solutions as possible into spray bottles, spritz onto surfaces, and wipe off. Easy!
- Divide and conquer. Break chores down into small, manageable “quadrants.” Focus only on one thing at a time…whatever’s right in front of you.
- Don’t clean too much. Perception is reality: if it looks clean, it is. Hospital corners are overrated because they’re invisible.
Following these simple guidelines will help you make housekeeping as quick and painless as possible…the bottom line when you clean like a man!
Tom McNulty is the author of "Clean Like a Man Housekeeping for Men (And the Women Who Love Them)