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6.1.10: Go Shopping With Your Wife...and Like It!
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Yes, it goes against a guy's grain to spend even a minute longer than necessary in any store (except maybe Sports Authority, Golfsmith or Home Depot). Men usually know exactly what they're after, get it, and get out. Women tend to view shopping in general and bargain-hunting in particular as a "leisure pursuit"...fun, even. So we've got a cobra-mongoose situation on our hands. I suggest that even after you fellows start getting restless and irritated - it usually takes about 45-60 minutes - you should suck it up, act cheerful and enthusiastic through the extra half-hour your wife will want to shop, and enjoy a nice, positive experience together instead of ending it with an argument. Either way it goes, she's sure to remember...and you'll either pay a penalty or reap the rewards. NOTE: This is a juicy enough topic to rate a blog, so I'm goin' for it. See "Shopping with your wife" on the C.L.A.M. blog pages.
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5.27.10: Some Hard, Cold Advice
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If you don't have an automatic ice-maker, refill the ice trays after you've absconded with any cubes. This is a small thing, but it creates pissed off women when you don't do it. (And while we're on the topic, if you don't have a fridge with the auto-ice feature, you gotta get one. I suppose you still have a rotary dial phone, churn your own butter and take your laundry down to the river, too.)
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5.20.10: Wax romantic with candles
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Candles provide the ultimate in romantic lighting. Freeze 'em before using – they'll drip less wax, burn slower and last longer. But yes, they'll still drip some wax - so put a piece of paper or cardboard under the candle holder to avoid having to clean wax off your tabletops and carpets.
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5.12.10: Will your marriage last?
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The clearest predictors seem to be age and education. In the 1980s: 81% of college grads who married at 26 or older were still married 20 years later, vs. 65% of grads who married younger. Only 49% of those who married younger and had no degree lasted 20 years. |
4.29.10: Easy cure for stress.
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Dirt cheap, too, as luck would have it. Researchers in Berlin found that couples who held hands, snuggled, kissed and had sex were able to reduce their levels of a key stress hormone. It was a very complicated test so I won't go into it here, but it sounded legit. The take-away is what counts, though: intimacy lowers stress as much as workouts or meditation sessions, but intimacy is more fun.
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4.22.10; What's on her mind?
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Women don't expect you to read their minds. But they'd love it if you occasionally ask what they're thinking about.
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4.19.10: Top 10 Chick Flicks
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Ready for some tonsil-hockey next Saturday night? Here's input on romantic movies from several female friends: 1. Pretty Woman, 2. Beaches, 3. Ghost, 4. Terms of Endearment, 5. When Harry Met Sally, 6. Steel Magnolias, 7. You've Got Mail, 8. Sleepless in Seattle, 9. The American President, 10. Notting Hill. Bonuses: Titanic, Jerry Maguire, Moonstruck, Gone with the Wind...and there are many more. |
4.12.10: Set the stage for romance
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Guys - want more amore at home? Tweak the bedroom decor a little. A few suggestions: replace the stack of Sport Illustrated mags on the bedside table with a candle or two. Move the stationary bike downstairs. Don't use the floor as your laundry hamper. Surprise her with some new high-thread-count sheets and beautiful comforter. Hey, be creative! It shows her you care about the relationship.
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4.7.10: Men: Heading in the Right Direction
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The Council on Contemporary Families recently noted how male behavior is shifting for the better in America. Dads (especially those 30 and under) are spending almost twice as much time with their growing kids as men did in 1977. They're also being good role models by cleaning the house more than guys ever used to. In turn, the kids generally have more friends and get better grades in school, probably due to a more tranquil environment at home.
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3.31.10: Reflections Upon Dance
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3.31.10 Reflections Upon Dance Dancing as if no one is watching means you don't really mind looking stupid. |
3.24.10: Emotional Rescue
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3.24.10 Emotional Rescue Guys who have affairs pay the price in self-inflicted guilt, depression, anxiety and shame, according to a recent university study. It also reveals that emotional infidelity causes about 33% more distress than a purely physical fling does. An affair that combines both physical and emotional cheating is the most upsetting of all. So guys...just stay home, tidy up the house and save everybody a lot of trouble, OK? |
3.17.10: Resist This Job
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3.17.10 Resist This Job Even if they're paying you $200 an hour, please don't dress up as Uncle Sam and parade on the street in front of an accountant's office in the days leading up to April 15. If your wife isn't already preparing to fly the coop, this will push her over the edge.
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2.21.10: 5 Quick Fashion Don'ts
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2.21.10 5 Quick Fashion Don'ts Being Clean Like a Man includes grooming. Please avoid the following:
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2.13.10: Scrub Her Back, Hit the Sack
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2.13.10 Scrub Her Back, Hit the Sack Women who are stressed usually aren't interested in sex, even though it would be a great tension-melter for her. So invite her to share a hot bath. Light some candles, pour some wine, and let your soapy hands do their calming magic. After that, she'll definitely feel sexy again. |
2.6.10: Valentine's Day - It's In the Cards
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2.6.10 Valentine's Day - It's In the Cards Valentine's Day is approaching, and of course you have to give her a gift. This year, take it to a whole new level. Buy a card with no message inside. Write your own, and write it from the heart. She'll treasure it as much as the gift, maybe more. |
2.3.10: Grooming Tip #28 - Cologne
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2.3.10 Grooming Tip #28 - Cologne If you're not really sure how much cologne is too much, you probably shouldn't wear any at all. |
2.1.10: Birthday Gift Guidance
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2.1.10 Birthday Gift Guidance You might not know exactly what she wants for her birthday, but her friends do. So ask them instead of torturing yourself with uncertainly and guesses. |
01.25.10: Grooming Tip #17
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1.25.10 Grooming Tip #17 - Back Hair Back hair is never coming back in style - get rid of it (they've got Nair for Men, you know). Frankly, you'd also do well to trim your underarm hair while you're at it (you don't like hers...you think she likes yours?). |
1.16.10: Why Cops Fear "Domestics
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1.16.10 Why Cops Fear "Domestics." Disputes between spouses are intense, emotional and unpredictable - in other words, downright dangerous. Over half of all couples fight about housekeeping, so it's a flashpoint in many relationships. Defuse it, dudes, by mastering just a few cleaning chores. According to a University of California-Riverside study, she'll love you for it. |
1.09.10: Be Prepared
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Always carry breath mints.
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1.4.10: Life in the Past Lane - Forget It!
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Talking about former girlfriends or ex-spouses is strictly forbidden.
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12.29.09: Help Her Love Football
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Take a few minutes every game to explain some of the basics to your partner as they unfold on the field. She'll appreciate the play-by-play more, and you'll watch more with her blessing...maybe together. This goes for all other sports, too. What a concept! |
12.22.09: This Year, Give Her an Amazing Gift - at 50% Off!
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Want to get out of cleaning this week? Scout out your favorite department stores December 24th, as close to closing time as possible. Chances are the After-Christmas Clearance prices are already marked, even on the kind of shiny objects she loves (gold, diamonds, pearls, etc.).
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12.17.09: Women, Weight Loss & You
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There are only two times when a woman takes a serious run at losing weight: 1) when she's single, and 2) when she's in a relationship BUT looking for a new man. Just one more thing for you to think about. Source: Men's Health magazine |
12.14.09: Prelationship Tip
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Match.com Red Flag #34 Never date anyone who lives in a "compound," or whose self-description includes any form of the word "serial." |
12.11.09: Remotely Interested
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The average guy spends over an hour a week looking for the TV remote. The average woman: 7 minutes. While I think the guy's search time is a bit overblown (is someone hiding it on him?), these numbers come from an actual study by UCLA.
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11.09.09: Prelationship Tip
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The Bad Date On one? Want out? Just mention that you're a Civil War buff (or something equally boring), talk about how your time in prison wasn't all that bad, or say you freak out if you miss an episode of "Judge Judy." |
11.05.09: All You Need is Love (and maybe Windex)
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Over half of all couples fight about housekeeping. BUT, men who clean are more attractive to their mates, inspire a feeling of "team", and improve the overall relationship. PLUS, the kids tend to do better in school and have more friends. Source: University of California - Riverside |
10.28.09: Women, Smells, and Sex Appeal
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Most females have a very keen sense of smell - it's their number one sense (followed closely by their selective memory). And a woman can easily become sexually aroused by her favorite scents. So keep your habitat smelling fresh, or at least "neutral," so you can use that blank canvas to apply aromas that will subtly seduce her (I recommend Armani Black Code). TIP: Put a few drops on a lightbulb...the scent is released when you switch it on.
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10.21.09: Why Women Have Book Clubs
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Well, they buy (and probably read) more books than guys. They also "talk amongst themselves" more. Let's learn from this: Women like to communicate, so if you work on connecting with them verbally - or at least listening to what they have to say - you're taking large steps toward a better relationship.
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10.14.09: The Worst Mistake You Can Make In Bed
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It's not botching hospital corners. It';s not even a lame attempt at lovemaking. Most women say they hate it when you eat in bed - even moreso when your snack is crunchy, loud, and creates crumbs.
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10.07.09: Using Sex as a Weapon
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When she does it, you buckle. When you try it, she laughs.
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09.30.09: Lighten Up
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With candles. They're romantic, inexpensive, and everybody looks better in their soft glow.
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09.27.09: Look at That Orgasm!
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In his book Relationship Rescue, Dr. Phil McGraw has a chart that depicts an orgasm. It looks like the kind of stock market chart that tracks an investment's performance over a week or so. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are pretty normal. Thursday sees "increased trading." Then Friday morning is incredible. A HUGE spike! The trading floor goes wild! Then of course, Friday afternoon goes back to normal (probably representing when they guy is reaching for the remote to see if the baseball game is over yet). What does that have to do with housekeeping? Men who clean are more sexually attractive to their mates.
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09.24.09: House Rules
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Drinking directly out of a milk carton is unacceptable only if you're caught doing so.
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09.17.09: Women Like Close Shaves
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Men who clean definitely score points with their mates, but cleaning yourself up is equally important. A 2008 survey of female college students in England revealed that they think clean-shaven men look about five years younger than those with stubble, beards, and other facial hair. And last time we checked, young is good.
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09.10.09: Go Cats Go
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A "Manther" is the male version of the female "Cougar": an older man who preys on younger women. This according to the Urban Dictionary
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09.03.09: No, You Don't Look Fat
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The only thing more important than saying "No, you don't look fat in that outfit" when she asks you the first time is the deep sincerity with which you must say "Really!" when she asks you the second time. -From "The Rules - A Man's Guide to Life" by Esquire magazine |
08.30.09: Sexual Factoid
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Women tell other women about their sexual exploits with men a lot more than men tell other men about their sexual exploits with women.
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08.26.09: Pre-lationship Tip
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Don't Jump the Love Shark You know that gooey, muskrat-love period when you're just starting a relationship? When every song on the radio reminds you of "her" and you're totally ga-ga about all the cute li'l things she does (and everything she does is cute)? Well, Men's Health magazine says that you should fight off the urge to say "I love you" for at least six months, or until the initial romantic goofiness blows over, whichever comes first. *(For the record: waiting six months to express your amore seems a little excessive to a romantic fool like me.) |
08.21.09: How to Get Inside Her Head
Next time you're browsing the magazine rack at the store, don't just page through your usual Sports Illustrated, Men's Health, Details and GQ. See how (and what) women think by scanning mags like Cosmopolitan, O(prah), Allure, W, Women's Health. Elle and more. You'll quickly learn that her mind is on more than recipes and shoes. You'll see covers with teasers like these:
WOW! You can see why this is a great way to find out what's important to women, from "chick lit" to sex, romance, relationships and yes...even recipes and shoes. She always seems to know what you're thinking...so why shouldn't you get an edge on her, too? |
08.16.09: Pre-lationship Tip
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Translating the Subtext SHE SAYS: "It's not you, it's me." SHE MEANS: "I can do a lot better." |
08.11.09: Earotica
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When it comes to male-female relationships, this applies to all guys: listen twice as much as you talk.
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08.04.09: When You Send Her Flowers
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Send them to her office. She wants her coworkers to see them and gush accordingly.
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07.28.09: Take Care of Her Car
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Every once in a while, take her car in for an oil change, a tune-up, or a wash. It won't kill you, and she'll love it.
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07.22.09: What to Say to Her When...
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1. She's upset about work
2. She asks you how she looks... |
07.14.09: Women's #1 Complaint About Men
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WE DON’T LISTEN! -From The Illustrated, Essential Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
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07.07.09: Find Her "C-Spot"
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Every woman has her “C-spots” – areas of the home she absolutely, positively needs to be clean. It could be spotless counter tops, a well-made bed, sparkling windows, closed toilet seat, and more! Just figure out what really bugs her or what she loves, then pay attention to it. She’ll think you’re man-tastic.
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07.01.09: Cook Her a Meal — Burn a Stereotype
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Women love it when guys cook for them, and as long as there's wine involved, it doesn't have to be a gourmet feast. This is a big step toward beating the caveman image many ladies have of us. I was once preparing a nice meal for a new girlfriend, who watched rapturously (I thought) as I worked. She finally confessed, "I was counting how many cupboard doors you left open." Ouch!
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06.25.09: Love Does NOT Mean Never Having to Say You're Sorry
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In truth, it means making frequent apologies that must often be accompanied by shiny, expensive objects.
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06.18.09: Top 10 Chick Flicks
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Dear C.L.A.M. If a guy is entertaining me at his place, there's no better way to top off a wine-drenched candlelight dinner than with a great chick flick. These are my faves, with the perfect blend of empowered female characters, light comedy and gooey romance that never fails to make me feel like playing tonsil-hockey with my host: 1. Pretty Woman, 2. Beaches, 3. Ghost, 4. Terms of Endearment, 5. When Harry Met Sally, 6. Steel Magnolias, 7. You've Got Mail, 8. Sleepless in Seattle, 9. The American President, 10. Notting Hill. Good night and good luck, Sherry Johns, San Francisco. C.L.A.M. replies: Sherrie, this info is going straight into my next book, Clean Like a Man2 - The Relationship Edition. But guys, avoid films like "Fatal Attraction", "Kill Bill", or "Thelma & Louise"...all kind of mood-busters if you're after any kind of cuddling action. |
06.11.09: Prelationship Tip
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Take a closer look. All women look good from a distance. |
06.04.09: Tell her she's the best thing that ever happened to you.
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Any time, any place. She'll love it. She'll also melt if you say, "I want to take care of you." Women want you to be the man. Of course, this won't work if you're living in a double-wide with 12 kids. In that case, it might be tough to get the "magic" back no matter what you do.
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05.30.09: What Women Like About You
Women are attracted by different things than men assume. According to researchers at Synovate:
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05.23.09: Want to be loved? Do the Dishes.
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"If a woman is distracted by anything - work, lack of sleep, a fight with a friend - it can interfere with her arousal," says human sexuality expert Beverly Whipple, PhD. Seven in 10 women said helping around the home was a turn-on, but men do only about 30 percent of the chores. What women like most, in order: 1. guys doing the dishes, 2. cooking dinner, 3. doing the laundry.
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05.16.09: Pre-lationship Tip
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Confidence is sexy! To women, especially new ones in your life or those who are observing you from afar, it's about as sexy as it gets. So you single guys: don't slouch or be shy. Smile, make eye contact and hold it, and exude confidence (but not cockiness). Women will respond accordingly. |
