After the Party Cleanup Plan
October 20, 2010, By Tom McNulty
Sure was fun last night. But this morning … damn! In the light of day, it’s easy to realize there’s a direct correlation between a party and its aftermath: the better the bash, the bigger the cleanup.
Whether you hosted couples for a wine-drenched dinner party or a bunch of your hooligan buddies to watch a key playoff game (I know … all games are “key”), the morning after always brings you back to reality with a resounding thud and a mountain of crud: piles of used glasses and plates, assorted carpet and upholstery stains, gunked-up tabletops, scuffed-up floors, dirty napkins and table linens and who knows what else.
Own the Mess
Après-blowout cleanups can be intimidating, especially if you’re a bit hung over. But there’s a manly way to kick keister on even the biggest morning-after messes. Like all Clean Like a Man solutions, it’s designed to be the quickest and most painless approach possible.
A slightly abridged version of The Men Commandments provides a good framework here.
BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE: pick up all washable glassware and dishes, consolidate them the kitchen, and run your first load through the dishwasher. Then start cleaning. You’re already multitasking!
Cleanup Guidelines
- Get started . Even assaults on Everest begin with the first step, so don’t be intimidated into paralysis or overthink it. Just jump right in.
- Listen to music. Strap on your iPod or crank the stereo with your favorite high-energy music. I prefer classic rock.
- Carry supplies with you. In a bucket, bag or tool belt. You’ll never have to stop and go look for anything – a real momentum-buster. Your MCU (Mobile Cleaning Unit) should always be pre-loaded with rags and sprays and ready to go.
- Race the clock. Go into one room, set an alarm for 15 minutes, and don’t leave that room until it’s done. Hurry! It forces you to focus better and work faster. Speed, not style, is what matters.
- Make a clockwise sweep. Start anywhere in the room and focus on what’s in front of you. Southpaws can move counterclockwise.
- Divide and conquer. Break the cleanup down into smaller, more manageable jobs. Complete one small task at a time and move on.
- Spritz, don’t splash. Big buckets of dirty water are for chumps. Use cleaning solutions in spray bottles. Spritz with your right hand and wipe down with your left as you move. (Lefties go counterclockwise.)
- Keep moving. The faster, the better. Be a blur. Things don’t have to be perfect on the first pass – you can always go back and tweak the fine details later but right now, getting done is your priority.
- Don’t waste a motion. If you’re going upstairs, grab something that belongs there and put it away when you arrive. This helps declutter your domicile – and it’s a good habit to have all the time, not just for a morning-after cleanup.
- Recruit a helper. If you have a spouse or roommate, or if someone decided he was too tipsy to drive home and slept in your guest room, grab ‘em.
These tips are most effective if you know basic housekeeping techniques: how to dust, how to use a vacuum and all its extensions, how to clean hard surfaces (glass, counters, tabletops, walls) and how to treat carpet and upholstery stains.
All this info and more (he said, shamelessly) is presented in guy-friendly terms in CLEAN LIKE A MAN – Housekeeping for Men (and the Women Who Love Them), available for order on cleanlikeaman.com.
For a free online option, check out The Men Commandments. Then party on!